A Breath of Fresh Air

Fresh air works wonders on the spirit and the mind. It helps us to clear our head and brings an instant feeling of calmness and happiness. A feeling that everything is going to be okay. And when the sun is shining, it rejuvenates our physical bodies and seeps into our souls for healing purposes. Often times when there is something weighing on my mind, or that I’m currently obsessing about, I feel the urge to write about it to help me sort through my feelings and thoughts and that’s usually the time I will write a personal blog. It’s really a journal entry that I allow anyone to read who chooses to do so. But usually when I do that, I realize that my journey in understanding myself has only just begun and I may have posted too quickly. It really can make matters worse for me because I posted a premature journal about myself that is very personal. And while the end goal may be to help others who are feeling something similar, I still have not brought full closure to my own current situation and that can lead to worry. I tend to worry a lot about things. Worry is simply a troubled mind. It’s a state that is hard for me to get out of.  And when I think someone may read what I wrote and judge me for it, or think I’m complete bonkers, it makes it even harder to move on with my personal journey because I’m just worrying about what others will think of what I wrote. It feels good to write it, but posting it too soon is something I need to work on. At the point before I post something so personal, I am taking a vow to breathe fresh air, let the dust settle, and let my feelings marinate and my mind meditate to where I gain a full understanding (writing will be a part of this process) of my situation. Once I get to that point where I have closure and I am in a place where I will not worry what others will think about my personal journey, it is then that I will post publicly. And blogging for me is a part of my own therapeutic process and I love it so much. I have always had a journal. I’ve had blogs for years and I have connected with people through this forum – people I’ve never met in person but that I share a connection with through my blog. There are people I’ve met and known at some point in my life who reach out to me and express their responses/reactions/feelings about something I’ve written. And there are those of you who know me well and who I consider dear friends in this life, and also take time to read this. I am thankful for all of you for being a part of my journey or expressing any interest at all in things I write! Sometimes I write about topics that are hard to discuss, such as my flaws and weak moments, but it’s all for the purposes of learning, growing and sharing life’s experiences and emotions. Having said that – I will move on to a new topic!

Exciting things are set to take place in Williams Fam. And yes, I am referring to Gareth and myself. We just passed our 6 month anniversary of being married. It’s been quite the experience so far! We are literally learning something new about ourselves and each other every single day. We are on the same page with all facets of our life and it feels nice to have someone by your side, wanting the same things, and AGREEING on the path to take in order to get them. But what feels even more awesome is the fact that no matter what, underneath it all, we care so deeply about one another and our love IS our bond, our reason for even sharing this journey together and it is what ultimately matters and keeps us pushing onward. I really do believe once we find that special connection that is love and that we share, at the root of everything – nothing else even matters! We have love, so we can get though anything!

Okay so enough about that!! We recently had our meeting with our loan officer, and were approved to buy our first home! A dream is finally becoming a reality and we will be homeowners come this June or July! What’s even more crazy is the fact we have to consider school districts when looking! We are going to tour our first 3 houses tomorrow evening! It’s crazy to think that we are looking for a home where will share numerous years together, make countless memories in and also where we will start a family. This space has to be perfect and speak to us immediately because it is OUR beginning.

Life is a collection of moments and experiences that build and build upon each other. And as I’m growing into an adult, I am realizing more and more of what I want out of life and the type of woman/human I want to be. Slowly but surely I will get there. I have found that it is extremely important to have a wide range of support coming from all corners of my life. Family, friends, and anything I can read or learn about that will make me a better/healthier/happier person are things I look to for support at different times in my life. One of my goals is to start hooping every day if I can because it makes me feel creative, centered, beautiful and graceful. It gives my body a purpose and forces my mind, body and spirit to come together as one expression and that is something I found that is important to me. Since I am constantly in my head, I need to turn my attention to positive outlets that will make me feel good about myself and feel inspired. So it’s a crazy journey – while I’m working on myself FOR myself, I am also working on myself for Gareth, for anyone who comes into my circle, and even for my future children. But one thing that I believe is so important, is that yes, it is lovely to daydream and think about my future, but what matters most is who I am now, in this moment, in this current life, because what I’m learning is all a part of bigger something that I know nothing about right now. I shouldn’t feel badly that I don’t have it all planned out. I need to enjoy the not-knowing and just enjoy my life. I have a wonderful life that I am grateful for and that I need to experience in this very moment.

Enough rambling for today. Peace and love!

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About KindandCrazy

I like to express my creativity and explore the depths of my own mind (and others). I really do live in the moment.. sometimes to a fault. I love and embrace the gift of life. I am a dreamer.
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