Goodbyes and Hellos

friendsLast week was bittersweet. I had to say “goodbye” again to one of my best friends. We all got used to her being back in Norman, but as the summer ends, and school begins, we had to tell her goodbye. She became the glue that brought and kept us together while she was here. You can’t help but love her – all she stands for – all her dreams – and how she makes them come true. She is inspiring to me because she simply does what she wants to do – she helps people in the process – she finds joy and makes friends – she is beautiful inside and out. Sure, I’ll see Mole {our nickname for her} a few more times this year and hopefully next year, but her journey is something I’ll mostly have to admire from a distance.

It’s amazing to me how you can go through ups and downs with a person, good times and bad fade into memories, and you realize it’s done nothing but bring you closer. It creates a bond that even when you’ve disagreed or unintentionally hurt one another, becomes stronger with time, maturity, acceptance, forgiveness and detachment. Lifelong friends are a choice. I don’t necessarily view my relationship with my best friends as attachment anymore. There was a time when I was attached to them.. attached to all past, present and future experiences with them. I had never experienced friendship with women that was so deep, profound, beautiful and unique. But recently, in the past year, I’ve learned that attachment can lead me to some dark places. Places I don’t want to go such as jealousy, sadness, entitlement, the need to be right, and worst of all, judgement. I will always love my friends – want to hang out with them, enjoy their company and our time together, cherish all the laughs and be there for them when they need me, and I know they’ll do the same. We all just “get” one another and can be ourselves 100%. But detachment – the sense of just letting go – has taught me how to be free and happy. It has made such a difference in my life and allows me to not be upset/let down/worried/etc.

[Detachment, also expressed as non-attachment, is a state in which a person overcomes his or her attachment to desire for things, people or concepts of the world and thus attains a heightened perspective. Attachment, that is the inability to practice or embrace detachment, is viewed as the main obstacle towards a serene and fulfilled life. Many other spiritual traditions identify the lack of detachment with the continuous worries and restlessness produced by desire and personal ambitions.]

Switching gears, Gareth also left for about 9 days for his trip to Colorado where he, his father and his brother ride dirt bikes all day and camp in their RV. He came back Saturday afternoon, and was filled with a certain happiness I haven’t seen in him for a long time. He was still on that Colorado high and had done some serious bonding with his family. I felt so affected by it and attracted to him at the same time. Our connection with each other is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. Life with Gareth is just better, and I know we are meant to be in it, together, til the end. I enjoyed my nights at home, watching old classic movies, and I wasn’t as lonely as I thought I’d be, but having him home makes me realize how much I missed him.

It does provide me with comfort and the amazing feeling that no matter who I say goodbye or hello to in this lifetime, Gareth will always be with me.


About KindandCrazy

I like to express my creativity and explore the depths of my own mind (and others). I really do live in the moment.. sometimes to a fault. I love and embrace the gift of life. I am a dreamer.
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